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VICTOR
VICTORIA
[Paris
By Night]
- [If I Were a
Man]
- [Trust Me]
- [Le Jazz Hot]
[Paris Makes Me Horny]
- [Crazy World]
- [Louis Says]
- [King's
Dillema]
[You And Me]
- [Almost a
Love Song]
- [Chicago,
Illinois]
[Living in the
Shadows] - [Victor
Victoria]
PARIS
BY NIGHT Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse Nowhere I go, no matther where I go
Seduces men like Paris does en masse
The streests of Pigalle, the bars of Les Halles
The brassries and the cafes of Montparnasse
The cabarets and bistros
Where the writer or artiste goes
Are as much a part of Paris as La Tour Eiffell. The restaurants for the purists
The nightclubs for the tourists
We have those in abundance as well. Paree can be a dangerous affair
She offers far more follies than the Folies Bergeres
For sheer sophistication
Plus some higher education
The smarter set can't wait to step this way. For here at club 'Chez Lui'
Aas you're all about to see
We'll tell you straight why gay Paree is gay. Paris by night, Paree la nuit
Seduces us in ways we don't expect to be
She has magic
From which even a Houdini can't be free
'Cause Paris by night has mystery
That's haunted us and taunted us through history
Shady secrets
She is all too aware we long to share
That's why it is, I guess
We all adore her
And hunger to explre her hidden charms
She fools us all
Because she's so capricious
But nothing's more delicious than to sleep in her arms. For Paris by night's the only way to realize
That all in all it's night time
Not the day that sets her apart
Wins every heart, and makes all our dreams take flight
There's no dream you can't find in Paris
Paree by night. But Paris by night you can't condemn
They say she's really at her best
From two to six a.m.
C'est vrai, she's sublime
Night time's the time
When all of our dreams take flight
There's no dream you can't find in Paris
Paree by night. IF
I WERE A MAN Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse If I were a man
I could do a lot of things a woman never can
Be free to plot and plan
Free to live my life without permission from a man Man assumes that the world is tailor made for him, which it is
He presumes that the world indulges every whim, if it's his What a fabulous pursuit
Hands in pockets, running things
I must say, it appeals
In my hundred dollar suit
Toying with my golden fob watch as I make deals Lucky man who is not made to feel like an alsoran
What a lovely life I'd plan if I were a man
I would build all the tallest buildings
Reaching up to the sky
I'd explore every far-off land
And I would learn how to fly What a triumph it would be
Doing all that fellers do
But better, and with style
Would be just my cup of tea
They would all be furious
And I would sit and smile As a man I wouldnot need to feel like an alsoran
Though I know I never can ever be a man
Oh, the life that I would plan
If I were a man TRUST
ME Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse Toddy
You'll be a star
You'll be bigger than Garbo and Dietrich by far
Trust me
If fate is kind
You could be Mistinguett and Chevalier combined
Trust me
The trick for a drag queen is trying to act like a woman
Which very few can
But the fact is
A drag queen's a man
You're not a man
You're a woman they'll think is a man
What a plan!
Trust me
Now, being a girl they all think is a man
Sets their minds in a whirl
Trust me...Trust me
All you have to do for the dream to come true
Is go out there and be what you are
And we'll make you a world famous star
Look, you don't have to do anything new
Simply do what you do when you're you
And the audience won't have a clue
It's true
So for your plan to succeed, and it can
They must think you're a man
Trust me...Trust me
If you're a man
You'll be the greatest star since show business began
Trust me...Trust me
The beauty of this is, like all great ideas,
It's as simple as simple can be
And we'll have each other to thank
For our penthouse at the Georges Cinq
It's a free ride to the bank
If you just trust me
Trust me...Trust me
Victoria
This cannot fail
To get both of us dumped
In some grim Paris jail, Toddy
Trust me...Trust me
Victoria Grant's got a much better chance
Singing 'Tosca' in Clacton On Sea Toddy
My proposal is not h that bizarre
At Casell's you'll become a huge star
It's about who they think that you are
Trust me LE
JAZZ HOT Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse 'Bout twenty years ago
Way down in New Orleans
A group of fellers found a new kind of music
An' they decided to call it jazz
No other sound has what this music has
Before they knew it
It was whizzin' 'round the world
The world was ready for a blue kind of music
An' now they play it from Steamboat Springs to La Paz There is a story that began in New Orleans
About a lady who discovered this music
She fell completely in love with jazz
No one has loved it like this lady has
They say today the lady travels 'round the world
You'll only see her where they're playin' this music
That's why they've seen her from Steamboat Springs to La Paz
Jass as her escort
To give her jazz-amatazz Oh baby, won't you play me 'Le Jazz Hot'
May be and don't ever let it end
I tell ya, friend, it's really something to hear
I can't sit still when there's that rhythm near me
Also baby, 'Le Jazz Hot' may be
What's holding my sould together
Don't know whether it's mornin' or night
Only know it's soundin' right
So come on in and play me 'Le Jazz Hot', baby
'Cause I love my jazz hot
Le Jazz Hot! PARIS
MAKES ME HORNY Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse Paris makes me horny
Rome may be hot, sexy it is not
Paris is so sexy
Riding in a taxi gives me apoplexy
Been ta Lisbon and Lisbon is a has-been
Schlepped ta Stockholm an' brought a lotta schlock home
Also Oslo, an' Oslo really was slow
Paris makes me horny
It's not like Californy
Paris is so dizzy
Jack, it's such an aphrodisiac
Ooh...... It's true
Paris thrills me
When I see Eiffel Tower
I have to go and take a shower
It's true, I do
Paris kills me
And it makes me sexy As for Madrid, save it for El Cid
Dining at the Lido loosens my libido
Like a big torpedo
Seen Geneva, it's hardly jungle fever
Been to Brussels, could use some red corpuscles
Tried Toronto, departed molto pronto
Paris makes me tingle
Makes me glad I'm single
London's okay, if it's for one day
Paris gets me sexy in the solar plexy Been ta Munich where every guy's a eunuch
An' ta Dublin, things ain't exactly bubblin'
Hate Helsinki, the Finns are kind-a kinky
But Paris...Paris...
Paris makes me... ooh, Pooky CRAZY
WORLD Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse Crazy world
Full of crazy contradictions like a child
First you drive me wild
And then you win my heart with your wicked art
One minute tender, gentle
Then temperamentalas a summer storm
Just when I believe your heart's getting warmer
You're cold and you're cruel
And I, like a fool, try to cope
Try to hang on, to hope Crazy world
Everyday the same old roller coaster ride *
But I've got my pride
I won't give in
Eventhough I know I'll never win
Oh, how I love this crazy world (Repeat *) LOUIS
SAYS Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse
I know they say of Marie Antoinette
My reputation is a gogetter
So when I met Louis Sixteenth of Bourbon
T'was so disturbin'
I thought a Bourbon once in every while
Would keep me smiling Louis Seize is king of France
Not by chance that I wed him
They all do as Louis says
My, oh yez!
I just bed him
Then I recline on my chaise
Who cares what they do
Who cares what Louis says
Louis says I misbehave
Rant an' rave, craving trouble
If he only knew the truth in my youth
It was double
My life's a big bowl of fraises
Poor Louis's screwy
Who caarres what Louis says
Suddenly the revolution came
And my social life is not the same
So I play a very different game
Living one day at a time
Since each day may be my last
I'll make each moment quite sublime
Louis says they'll lavel me
Mad Marie Antoinette
Famous for my roving eye
He says I should know better
Good times relieve my malaise
The rest is phooey
Who cares what Louis says
Louis says I mustn't roam
Stay at home, all adoring
He says I should be more prim, more like him
God, how boring
I like my sauce bordelaise
He drives me cooey
Who cares what Louis says
Louis says the revolution spread
Louis says I mustn't lose my head
And the people haven't any bread
I say I let 'em all eat cake
Louis says that kind of attitude could be a grave mistake
Louis says our time is short
This resort's
Their museum
I say they can go to hell
Wish 'em well when you see 'em
They're singing 'La Marseillaise' at half past seven
I'm off to heaven
So much for royalty
So much for loyalty
So much for Louis Seize
KING'S
DILLEMA Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse
Spoken:
I'm gonna have dinner with her, with him, tonight
So what's the big deal
It's not a big deal, all right
All right
So why am I shy as a spotty-faced kid at a high school prom
Why
I'll tell you why
It's because I don't know where this crazy dame
This Victor guy, whoever he is
Is coming from
That's why I am a guy who knows himself
So I really don't give a damn
I never could be in love with a man
But what if I am
I mean, me?
Ha!
Gay? Ha!
If I know that I'm not
What's the problem I've got
And why do I feel this way
The only logical answer is that
He's a dame
I know that I'm right
I can tell from the way that I feel
Yeah
So maybe the way to play it is to go along with the game
If some dumb reason I'm wrong
Is it such a big deal
Sung:
I've never been wrong about dames
Not once in my life
If I had been
You can bet I'd be stuck with a wife
But not me, not King
My life has been one sweet perpetual fling
I've played so many games
Fanned the flames with loads-a dames
And I've landed the blame from each dame
Who claimed that I've tricked her
But now at last I'm in love Spoken:
With Victor
Maybe I should see a doctor
Or concoct a cockamamie tale to get me out of town
Maybe take a long vacation
With some appetizing chick to lift me up when I'm down Sung:
Or maybe I should face the music
Give up dames like Mame an 'Margo
Take on board this strange new cargo
Did Othello fancy Iago
I'll take Victor to Chicago
And we'll see what happens then
When I'm out with him
And eight or ten of the world's no question
Most obnoxious men
"I'd like you to meet my beautiful boyfriend Victor"
How will it sound, down at the stadium
How will it look, out at the race track
I can just see, out at the ball-park
Tony Palermo give me the eye
When I waltz in with a guy Of all God's gorgeous creatures
Who play tag with my libido
I have to pick the queen of drag
Who dresses in a tuxedo
"I'd like you to meet my lover, not Norma, Victor"
What would they think, out at the golf club
What would they say, down at the night club
Here's what they'd say in Guido's Steak House
The moment we were seen:
"Hey! Did you guys know that King Marchanis a queen?" Spoken:
It's a trick and a trap
I'm not takin' the rap for a crime I didn't do
I've gotta make certain that he is a she
If I don't, all my nightmare's could end up true
There's only one way to find out for sure
But I haven't got the guts to try
Or have I
If I'm right, I'll throw a party tonight
If I'm wrong, I think I'll die Sung:
But yes, I guess I gotta do it
Hell, there isn't that much to it
I can't sit here one more minute
Lettin' time go by
I need to put an end to all this how and why
I need to know like most guys need an alibi
I'll go myself
I just can't ask a private eye
"Is the girl I'm in love with a guy" YOU
AND ME Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse *
You and me
We're the kind of people other people would like to be
Wand'ring free
We present the kind of picture people are glad to see
And we don't care that tomorrow comes with no guarantee
We've each other for common party
And come what may, you and me
We'll stay together year after year
Won't we, my dear
** That's why we're you and me
(Repeat * only then go to ***) ***
We'll always be you and me
We'll always be you and me ALMOST
A LOVE SONG Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse Victoria
What we have here is almost a love song
I'm perfect for you, you're perfect for me
Everything they sing about
We have in profusion
The same sense of humor
A romance more than mere illusion King
So why are we almost a love song
Why aren't we the song of the year
Does the moment go by Victoria
Are we frightened to cry King
If we are, more's the pity Victoria
For the idea seems too pretty
To be almost a love song King
You owe me a love song Both
So where is my love song, my dear
King
Victoria
One thing's clear here
It's clear
We're almost a love song
We're almost a love song
She's so good for me
I'm no good for him
I'm no good for her
He's so good for me. I imagined somebody
I saw someone
Who'd look at things my way
We'll travel life's highway
Whatever the weather
But I wonder whether the
Two of us should be together Two of us should be toghether
So why are we almost a love song
Are we a love song Instead of the song of the year
Not a good one, I fear
Will the moment go by
Will I lose him
Are we frightened to try
Mustn't lose her
If we are
If I do
Then it's tragic Then it's tragic
She and I have too much magic He and I have too much magic
To be almost a love song
Hell, I might as well face it
You owe me a love song
I could never replace it So
Where is our love song, my dear
Where is our love song, my dear CHICAGO,
ILLINOIS Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse
Trendy trav'lers tend to talk of London, Paris, Rome, New York
Like only they were stylish and unique
But out in the midwest ist he city I love best
A town so smart its spelling starts with C-H-I-C
Chic!
* Chicago, Illinois, is like a shiny toy
The Prairie State is proud to state that it's its pride and toy
The Windy City sweeps ya clean off ya feet
Its charm is complete
They're knockin' ya flat
This way or that
On ev'ry donwton street
The white Sox and the Cubs and other sporting clubs
Make living here a pretty nifty ploy
Smack on the lake, this is a rare port
** Someday, they say, we'll have an airport
When they say, "Hey, I'm from Chi"
They mean Chicago, Illinois
(Repeat * only, then go to ***)
*** Someday, they say, we'll have an airport
When they say, "Hey, I'm from Chi"
They mean Chicago, Illi...
Chicago is a killer
They mean Chicago, Illi...
C H I C A G O Illinois! LIVING
IN THE SHADOWS Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse Living in the shadows, hiding from the sunlight
Hiding from the one light that might help to guide you
Hiding from tomorrow, hiding from the day
Only brings a sorrow that won't go away Wand'ring in the darkness, living ev'ry midnight
Doesn't ever rid night of nightmares as love might
Life is full of dangers, strangers ev'ry turn
Life in the shadows, there's no way to learn
The more you learn, the more you seek, the more you find
The more you care, the more the world is kind One thing I can tell you: Life should be your lover
Help you to discover your reason for being
Soon you will be seeing what you're all about
Living in the shadows, you'll never find out
Push away the shadows, the sun will come out VICTOR
VICTORIA Music by Henry
Mancini
Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse
Company
A thousand artists have done their damnest to paint her
But all in vain
And ev'ry day their hopes grow fainter
The reason's plain
For Victoria's also known as victor
Making tricky to depict her
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria
Victoria, what a victor you are
She spreads confusion
Her illusion is serene
Behind the screen
Is he a king or is she a queen
She's such a tease
Fellers like these
Trying to please
Get ill at ease
Not sure if he's Louee or Louise Company
Victoria
No wonder thousands of lovers struggle No wonder male friends
To win her without success Also female keep sending
Even an evening having dinner me mail - wondring
She won't say yes Can she be male
And God help the guy whoever tricked her They all pursue me
Kiss 'em good bye if they afflict her And woo me and miscounstrue me All
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria Victoria, what a victor you are
Men are so dim fancying and fancying her
They're so bemused
They get confused which one they prefer Is he a she Is he a she
Is she a he Is she a he
If you ask me If you ask me It's hard to see
Which can she be Victoria
There's no guarantee
And so shen young men and old men turn into bold men
To hold my hand
They get too frazzled and bedazled to understand Victoria
You can't contradict her or predict him
She is the victor, not the victim All
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria
Victoria, what a victor you are Company
And that's why ... Young men and old men turn into bold men All men, healthy tall
To hold her hand men, and wealthy
They get too frazzled and bedazzled small men, with the
To understand gall of all men
You can't contradict her or predict him mob and molest her
She is victor, not the victim They all do their best to pester Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria
Victoria, what a victor you are King
So when a guy loves a lady
However shady it may appear Toddy
No need to yell if they're two fellers
That's not so queer Victoria
We're all meant to cherish one another Squash
It's not a crime to love each other Toddy
He sings to All
Victor Victoria, Victor Victoria
Victoria, what a victor you are
Victoria, what a victor you are
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